


Tell truth, Meester Lambert...

by Donna



Category: Adam Lambert - Fandom
Genre: "Natasha", "Night Court", Rocky and Bullwinkle, Straight from a dream, total insanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-08-24
Packaged: 2017-11-12 19:02:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donna/pseuds/Donna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is just straight crack from my sleep-deprived brain...</p><p>A night out on the town leads to arrest and an admission of...the truth...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell truth, Meester Lambert...

**Author's Note:**

> For all of you out there who have never heard of "Night Court" or "Rocky and Bullwinkle" there are some excellent vids of both on Youtube.
> 
> Never happened, never will...unless Adommy fans everywhere are extremely lucky...

“Meester Lambert, do you not understand Eeenglish? Just tell truth and you both go free. No fines, no fees. We forget matter and it’s like you spent night in hotel. If I think you lying you stay as long as I say. Now where is truth Meester Lambert?”

Tommy turns to Adam with a look of exasperated shock on his face. What the fuck is happening here? And why is Adam acting like a worm wiggling on the end of a fishhook? I mean yeah, this is the most fucked up situation that he has ever been in. He must be still high on whatever they were passing around backstage before the concert last night. Hell, Tommy cannot even remember what fucking country they are in right now or how he and Adam ended up in a jail cell in the first place. All he remembers is walking back to the hotel after a night of dancing and laughing at a small local club that was barely big enough to hold a hundred people. It was one of the most enjoyable nights out that the two of them had shared since the tour began. And just when they returned to the hotel the police were waiting for them, shoving them into the back of an old fashioned looking “paddy wagon” and taking them to the local police department. They were taken directly to a jail cell with no bed or bench, only a toilet and told that they would have to face the judge in the morning. No food, no water and no phone call. What the hell? The sergeant in charge of the shift couldn’t even tell them what they were arrested for!

Adam, worried about how “frail” Tommy was compared to his much larger frame, demanded that he sleep on his back on the hard concrete floor, Tommy lying on top of him for comfort. Or, Tommy commented with as much sarcasm and swear words as possible, what little fucking comfort that could be gathered from Adam’s now much thinner figure. Sure, Tommy thought Adam looked good but then again he thought Adam’s weight was just fine when he first met him. He felt that Adam had absolutely no reason at all to lose any weight but kept his mouth shut as his boss and best friend began shedding pounds recently. To each his own, man, whatever. Truth of the matter, though…skinnier Adam=might as well as slept on the floor because he ended up not sleeping at all, feeling as if he was sleeping on a bag of bones instead of a cement bed. But kudos to Adam for trying, anyways…

So here they are, standing in a real life version of the television show “Night Court” except that there are no lawyers and the judge looks and sounds like Natasha from the cartoon “Rocky and Bullwinkle.” Hell, to Tommy’s eyes she even looks like a cartoon figure, as if he were to reach out to touch her, his hand would just move through her body as if she were made of smoke or chalk. She even has a black flattop haircut that looks exactly like the cartoon character had. Tommy thinks fleetingly to himself that under that silly looking robe she is probably wearing a dress exactly like Natasha wore on her skinny body when she and Boris were busy chasing “Moose and Squirrel” around all the time…

Realizing that his mind had wandered off while waiting for Adam to “Tell truth” (whatever fuck THAT meant!) so they can get the fuck out of here Tommy’s stomach growls, reminding him that the two of them haven’t eaten since they have arrived in this hellhole last night. Tommy hears Adam’s stomach growl in answer to his and he prods Adam with an elbow in the side, the motion causing Adam to look down at Tommy, a look of understanding under the look of discomfort currently twisting Adam’s beautiful face into a grimace. Tommy whispers “Do it, Adam, whatever it is! I’m starving and I want the fuck out of here…”

“Leeson to Mr. Ratliff over there! He knows what will happen if you do not tell truth Meester Lambert. We are small country and I am in charge here. If you do not tell truth, do not look into the camera and tell me what we both know to be true, then you will spend an eternity in that small cell! Tell truth and you are set free to go back to bus and all is well. How hard can truth be?”

Adam glances at Tommy before whispering “Harder than you know.”

Adam makes a loud sigh and asks “You give me your word you will set BOTH of us free, Judge? 

The Judge smiles a large smile and replies “Never has my word meant more, Meester Lambert!”

Adam rolls his eyes and turns once again towards Tommy. “ALL RIGHT! But remember this is totally against my will!” Adam’s face turns a deep red as he softly says to Tommy “I know that you are with…and I am with…but…”

Tommy, completely lost and confused, blurts out “OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE JUST SAY IT LAMBERT! WHATEVER IT IS, HOW HARD CAN IT BE?”

Adam turns back to the camera, his face practically purple with embarrassment and screams “I AM IN LOVE WITH TOMMY JOE RATLIFF!!!! THERE, I SAID THE TRUTH!!!! I HAVE LOVED HIM SINCE THE FIRST TIME I MET HIM AND I HAVE LOVED HIM EVERY SINGLE DAY SINCE!!!! I WANT TO MARRY HIM AND GROW OLD WITH HIM AND HAVE HIS BABIES!!!!!! THERE, I’VE TOLD THE TRUTH, NOW GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Tommy’s jaw drops open and his gasp is drowned out by the Judge slamming the gavel on the top of her desk in front of her. With a large smile she stands, removing her robe to reveal a concert tee shirt from their concert the night before. With her hands on her hips she smirks down at Adam and says “See, darlings? See how easy it is to tell truth, Meester Lambert? Now go, the truth has set you free…”

As Adam and Tommy turn and make their way down the center aisle of the courtroom and out the door Tommy grumbles “Leave it to you to get arraigned by an Adommy fan, Adam…”


End file.
